


What Comes Next

by Novarin



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles X
Genre: Cross has some issues to work out, Friendship, Gen, Lin is a good friend, Major Spoilers, Tatsu is tatsu, angst fo' dayz, implied depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:35:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novarin/pseuds/Novarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since they found the Lifehold Core, the people of NLA couldn't have been happier. But some knew it wasn't time to celebrate just yet. And some people didn't have much reason to celebrate at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Comes Next

**Author's Note:**

> Huh, not sure where this came from to be honest. Had a lot of feels about finishing this game a month or so ago and just had to write something. Hope you enjoy it.

Primordia was a beautiful continent. Sure, it didn't have the still majesty of Sylvanum, the imposing desolation and ruins of Oblivia, or vibrant forests like Noctilum, but Cross always thought it had a peaceful charm to it. So many of the indigens were harmless unless provoked, and it just carried a soothing vibe in the very air. It was a perfect place to get away from everything. So long as you carried a weapon with you.

Being cautious never hurt.

 _I wonder how this doesn't rust_ , Cross thought wistfully. They stared up at their hand, harsh sunlight streaming through their fingers. They clenched and relaxed their hand, examining it this way and that. Not a thing out of place. Perfectly normal. Their eyes closed, and with a sigh, their hand splashed back into the water. They barely felt it as the water droplets hit their cheek. _Like I would know._

They continued to stare up at the sky from the surface of the lake. The sun was high in the sky, shining down on Mira. _I've been awake for three months, and still nothing._ It was like there was a steel block was on their chest, constricting their breath. Three months, and there was still no progress on their lost memories. They were starting to get the feeling they'd never remember anything.

When the Lifehold Core had finally been located, Cross couldn't have been happier, and neither could any of the other humans stuck in mimeosomes in New LA. They would finally be able to save the hundreds of millions still trapped in stasis, and get their own bodies back. Cross was sure that with their own body, their memories would be back. Sure, like Elma said, maybe they wouldn't want to remember Earth's destruction, but not having memories of Earth at all... it was a poison on their thoughts. They didn't even remember their old life. BLADE was all they knew. They could act upbeat and happy most of the time, but their worries were always somewhere, lurking within. They wondered why they were the only one cursed with having no memories prior to Mira.

And then, they found that they really were dead. Or, the original _them_ was. Along with the rest of humanity. Just like Lao said, their flesh had burned away with the Earth. The idea that they were just some robotic copy of the original, data stored on a mainframe? It was almost enough to break them. They could remember every panicked thought from the minute they learned the truth. “ _How can I know I was ever a real person?” “As far as I know, I could just be an android made right before the crash! That would explain why I don’t remember anything.” “What if there aren’t any memories to give me?”_

They were almost glad when Luxaar turned out to still be alive. The next few minutes of life-and-death battle were enough to keep them from losing it right then and there. Nothing like fighting for the fate of “humanity” to keep your head on your shoulders, right?

But now? It was all over. The Ganglion were gone, scared off or dead. Humanity had finally found the peace it wanted, at least relatively speaking. Cross had nothing to do but think. And they hated their thoughts.

 _Doug really was right. Without my memories, am I even the same person?_ _There's no “continuity of consciousness with me.”_ They couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle, sending out ripples in the water. They closed their eyes and grimaced.

 _And now, there really isn't any hope for my memories, huh? All of that data, all of our consciousness? Destroyed. Man, how are we even alive?_ It was almost comical, in a bleak way. All of that for nothing. No one was even sure if it was possible to put people back into new bodies without that data there, and no one wanted to volunteer.

Cross would have, but what good was someone with no prior memories for a project like this? _All I'm good for is shooting indigens in the face. I don't know anything different._  Was that all there was too them? Fighting and nothing else. What a fulfilling existence.

"You know, sleeping in the middle of a lake isn't the best idea." They opened their eyes. Standing, or rather floating, above them was a familiar-looking skell. They'd know that pristine mech anywhere.

"Hey, Lin." They forced a grin. "Tatsu in there with you?"

"Of course I am! Friend know Tatsu would never let Linly go without him," the Nopon said over the mic.

"We both know Tatsu won't let me leave the house without him," Lin said with a sigh. "He's like that cat we picked up. Always wants attention."

Nearby, Cross heard the pounding thunder of a Milesaur coming to drink from the lake. He always admired those things. So majestic and carefree. They didn’t have to worry about memories. Or fighting for their lives. No one wanted to fight those things.

“Anyway, come on,” Lin announced over the com. “Vandham has a new mission for us. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

Cross righted themselves in the water, starting to kick their legs. They had to admit, swimming was really easy in these bodies. “Yeah, I’ll be right over. Just head on over without me for a while, ‘kay.” They started to swim toward the shore.

But they were met with nothing but silence from their teammates. For a few moments, there was nothing but the sound of that milesaur slurping up gallons of water just a few feet away. “Cross, are you... worried about your memories again?” They jerked with surprise. How did Lin get to the point so quickly? Usually, they were so good about keeping their expressions in check. As they reached the shore, Lin landed the skell next to them and started to shut it down.

“You don’t think we notice when you get down like this?” She asked, exiting the mech. Her eyes were cast toward the ground. “Of course we do, we’re your friends! You’re pretty expressive, you know? So when you’re all blank like that, we know something’s up.”

Finally, she looked up to meet Cross’ eyes. They were taken aback by the look on her face. Her eyes were glistening with tears as they gave him the fiercest look of determination they’d ever seen. “Lin, I-”

“Look, I get it, this is your problem. We... can’t really understand how it feels to not remember anything. But you have to know you can talk to us, right?” She clenched a fist as she stepped closer. “We’ve been through hell and back, so just talking about what’s bothering you can’t be too bad, right?” She choked back a sob as she finally started to let out everything she’d been trying to keep from telling them.

“So please, just talk to me, okay? I’ve seen how you’ve been acting lately, like you’re expendable or whatever. But you’re important to everyone. Me, Elma, Gwin, Irina, Doug, even Tatsu. We don’t want to see you die Cross! Especially if....”

“I really can’t be brought back.” Before either of them knew it, Cross had their arms around Lin’s shorter form in a close hug. Lin reflexively tensed, but quickly moved to return the hug. “I-I’m sorry. You’re right. This may be my problem, but I shouldn’t act like I have to face it alone.”

“I just... don’t know what to think anymore. Am I even the person I used to be? Was I even someone before I woke up?” Their chest tightened as their bottled up emotions started to spill out. Their face felt hot, and their eyes started to water.

“You’re someone to me,” Lin replied softly.

“And Tatsu too!” Came the potato’s voice. Both of the humans looked down at the Nopon dancing around at their legs. “Tatsu thinks friend should talk to Tatsu more. Tatsu is very therapeutic.” Cross chuckled while Lin groaned. 

“Why’d you have to break up a perfectly good moment like that!” She shouted, wiping her face. Her smile betrayed her apparent anger. “You know, I think we’ll have chicken pot pie tonight just for that.” She flashed an evil grin at Tatsu.

“Wahh! Linly already tried that one!”

“Huh, I did? Well I guess I’ll just crack out the old cook book and figure out what else to make, huh?”

“Why is Linly so cruel to poor, innocent, Tatsu!?”

“Because it’s fun,” Cross commented with a sly smile.

“Not other friend too!” The Nopon lamented, shaking his arms and wings in a panic. Cross couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe not having memories of their past wasn’t so bad. Their new ones were pretty great on their own.

**Author's Note:**

> In other news, I have a writing blog on Tumblr now. Feel free to check it out for updates on the status of my multi-chapter fics or announcements of upcoming ones. http://novasnotebook.tumblr.com/


End file.
